Give the Gift of Coaching
May I ask you to wander down memory lane with me for a moment? You may need to stroll further back into your childhood or simply take a quick jog back to last month. However far down the lane you need to go, I want you to think back to that perfect gift you received. You know, the one that made your jaw drop, choke back tears, grin from ear to ear with sheer joy, or break into your happy dance. Are you there? Hold onto that memory and ask yourself why it was so special. I’ll hazard a guess here and bet that it had to do with the fact that the giver knew you so well, and the gift was a reflection of that.
If we’re honest, isn’t that what we all want? To really be known? While I can think of several people who fit this profile in my life--and I’m hoping you can too--it may surprise you that a former manager falls into this category. Did we have “tell-all” one-on-ones? No. And that was definitely a good boundary! What we did have was a collaborative working relationship. Due to her intentional leadership style, I felt valued, appreciated, encouraged, and challenged to bring the best me to the job. In essence, I felt known by my manager, who viewed herself as a coach, shedding the traditional role of boss. She refrained from dictating, micromanaging, and focusing on my weaknesses. Ego wasn’t a factor. Instead, she asked questions, actively listened, looked for my talents, and helped me align those talents with my job’s goals and expectations, thereby setting me up for success.
As leaders, some of us may already take a coaching approach with our employees. It just comes naturally to us, and it’s what we’ve always done. Others of us, through no fault of our own, mimic management styles according to how we were managed. It’s what was modeled, so we adopt it as our own. The workforce has changed, however, and leaders today need to, quite frankly, unlearn the bossing we’re so acquainted with and instead adopt a new mindset of coaching. After all, Gallup warns, “The most highly talented thoroughly reject command-and-control management. They crave development. They expect purpose. And they will leave a boss as fast as they can in search of a coach.” [1]
That’s a harsh reality. But there’s hope. We can become coaches who engage in meaningful conversations, who motivate, inspire, and collaborate, who provide purpose, and who look for what’s right with our employees. You can do this. How? Let’s start with three simple steps and choose to be intentional in our practice and application of them.
1. Take time to focus on your own growth and development
That’s right, in order to help employees in their personal development journey, you need to be devoted to your own learning and growth. Bosses think they have all the answers. Great leaders stay humble and teachable, believing, as one of John F. Kennedy’s speeches stated, “leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” If you’re serious about practicing more coaching and doing less bossing, take the time to pour into yourself. Give yourself the gift of learning. Only then will you be better positioned to pour into others.
I’m sure you’re familiar with the adage, “Show me your calendar, and I’ll show you what’s really important in your life.” Honestly, it may be difficult and feel a bit selfish to carve time out of the schedule for you, especially when multiple people and commitments vie for your attention. But investing in leadership development is vital, according to the Center for Creative Research. Doing so improves bottom-line financial performance, helps companies attract and retain talent, drives strategy execution, creating organizational alignment, and increases organizational agility and success in navigating change. [2] All good things!
Action item: Commit to scheduling “you” time to feed your growth and development and ultimately make you a better coach. Podcasts, webinars, articles, a coaching session of your own are good resources. Start by scheduling just one hour on your calendar next week. Record your top three takeaways from the specific learning you did and then put it into practice. Taking action now will create habits that foster lifelong growth.
2. Cultivate a genuine connection with your employees
As I mentioned earlier, we all desire to be known. A great leader knows their employee--strengths, needs, motivations, interests, and how to engage them effectively. If you stop right now to think about your team, would you be able to rattle off some of the above? To accomplish this requires purposeful planning and a desire to connect. Football coach Eddie Robinson wisely stated, “Coaching is a profession of love. You can’t coach people unless you love them.” To a boss, that may sound outrageous and a bit dramatic. To a coach, that statement is the very heartbeat of leadership.
Action item: Begin with one employee and make time for a conversation where you ask meaningful questions. (Hint: This doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes the best conversations are impromptu, informal, and above all genuine.) Take mental or physical notes, recording the answers for future reference. If you’re struggling with what questions to ask, here are a few to get you started:
What are some successes you’ve had this past week?
What was it that led to that particular success?
What challenges are you facing right now?
What do you need to help you overcome that challenge?
How do you make time for yourself?
What things fill you up and help you recharge?
3. Be a trustworthy guide
One of the benefits of guided tours is gaining a broader perspective and more in-depth insight into the subject matter than you could possibly do on your own. You benefit from the expertise of the tour guide and his or her interaction with you. Can you imagine if the guide simply moved you from room to room, only there to ensure you don’t touch anything? Bosses are the latter. They are content to oversee and supervise work. Coaches, on the other hand, are the tour guide. John Popovich, football player and coach, may have said it best when describing the role of a coach--“As their coach, your job is to set the bar high, inspire them to reach this bar, encourage them, and most of all, guide them in the best possible manner and in the most supportive environment.”
To be a good coach, become a trustworthy guide helping employees navigate the path to their fullest potential. This requires clear communication, frequent stops along the way to check in with people, analyzing and course-correcting when needed, and ultimately building trust with your followers by showing you care. A guide or coach doesn’t carry someone to the destination. As Popovich said, they inspire and encourage others to reach high and accomplish what they know is fully possible.
Action item: Create a “guided tour” for your employees. The destination is a specific goal or expectation that you clearly communicate. Now coach them to that end. Explore the environment. Is it safe and supportive? Do employees have what they need? Are there obstacles that you can help to remove? Remember to ask employees questions so they come up with the answers that will keep them progressing toward the goal. Encourage them by celebrating milestones and reminding them that applying their strengths will serve them well on this journey.
The Gift They Will Truly Appreciate
Moving from bossing to coaching is a process and will no doubt be challenging. You may find that certain areas come easier than others, but track your progress and give yourself grace as you learn what works and what doesn’t. You can give the gift of coaching, and it’s a gift your employees and organization will thank you for!
If you would like to give your team the gift of coaching but don’t know where to start, we can help! Lakeside Leadership Services offers a free initial half-hour consultation and coaching session to leaders, and we have affordable coaching packages for leaders of nonprofit organizations. Visit us online at www.lakesideleadership.org or send an email to contactus@lakesideleadership.org to take the next step in your leadership journey.
Biography
Amanda Lacey, MTA is a Partner at Lakeside Leadership Services, a company that provides learning and development consulting services to leaders of small businesses, non-profit organizations, schools, and churches. As a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach, Amanda offers training and coaching to leaders, teams, and individuals based on the CliftonStrengths assessment for adults and students, the StrengthsExplorer assessment for children, and the proven principles of strengths-based psychology and development. Lakeside Leadership Services also offers coaching and consulting in the areas of strategic planning, team learning and performance, employee engagement, organizational culture, and educational programming. Amanda can be contacted by email at AmandaLacey@LakesideLeadership.org
References
[1] Robinson, Jennifer (2020, January 17). Give Up Bossing, Take Up Coaching: You'll Like the Results.
https://www.gallup.com/workplace/282647/give-bossing-coaching-results.aspx
[2] Center for Creative Learning (2016). Driving Performance: How Leadership Development Powers Success, Center for Creative Learning. https://www.ccl.org/articles/white-papers/driving-performance-development-success/
